Tuesday, December 23, 2008
having a pkt of pokka green tea infront of me now.
it's really terrible to know that you have not finished your holiday homework where school is going to start in 10 days time. :(
have been chiong-ing alot. math is killing me. i just cant rmb all the things that i've learnt just a few bloody hell months ago. whats wrong with me? if next year i dun get a good e math teacher like miss kok, i'll need to get a tuition teacher to teach me well.. adn one who will stress me alot so that i can move on and not stone -.-
cca fair gifts are not yet approved. just sent the email to miss oh moments ago. got to wait for her reply and pass them to her so that i can get over it and proceed with the next duty i have for cca fair.
cca fair script i have even do yet. freak! jaime is going to be back today!( or is she already back?) but no matter what i got to do so that she wont need to do so much. sorry hoon, i'll rush it out. dun worry!
went back to school ytd to meet eleanor and to train abit.
did drill and less than 5 fa case.
went to hlm with eleanor to have lunch and do hw.
talked about alot of things,
and saw debbs there! :)
realy surprised.
it has been more than a month not seeing her. :)
i dont know why, but as i thought of what happened ytd,
emotional talk have to start once again.
i just dun know how to teach.
its like you are trying hard to perfect it but it just seems to be so impossible.
how did grace mdm and melissa mdm felt the other time when they were training nc3?
i am really scared that they will do badly during competition.
i hate to see the bad thing repeats its history.
i dont want to be dissapointed with the results.
i want the hard work that all 6 of us put in to be paid off.
bacause i saw how my trainers cried the other time,
i saw how the 7 of us cried cause of the results,
i hate the feeling of being looked down.
when the other team did very well and were shouting 3 three cheers,
there we are at a corner sobbing away.
na2 can do well in hn and drill doesnt mean that nc2 and nc7 also can.
yes, we are passing everything to them. but are they absorbing them?
its just a sourness that cant be explained.
its just a barrier for me to cross over,
i cant get to you girls,
i am loss.
cause you yawned during drill,
you are sloppy during drill,
you are not serious,
you are playing.
you smile,
you laugh,
you stop anytimt you want.
what do you think drill is?
play time?
you think that there's lots of time,
you think that you are better,
you think that i am no good,
you think that you can go for competition like that,
you think that everything is unfair,
you think that the words i say is not for real,
you think that i am very free,
you think i'm very patient.
sorry, dont push me to my limit.
you'll regret if you really do..
i gave you all 20 over days to get that darn book photocopied.
you all said you all will.
then you all said that the FIRST training you want a test.
you then said that it was unfair cause you haven gotten the book photocopied.
and you all then say that the book is confusing.
so do you all need 20 years?
you said that you couldnt photocopy the book on the 28th,.
wat did i tell you?
pass the book on to others to photocopy right?
what am i seeing now? the book is not even ready for you all to study yet!
are you testing my patience?
unfair treatment, confusing book.
that book is being read by more than 5 batch of cadets who are going for competition.
you say that its confusing.
so you are trying to say that all these while when you read, its a diferent book?
i just didnt want to say anything infront of your face.
there's so many things that i want to say about but i am controlling.
i dont want to spoil the training with scoldings and punishments.
who dont wish to have a more relax training.
but what i'm seeing now,
you girls dont deserve a relax training.jaime, i need to talk to you really badly.
pls contact me.
i need to tell you how terrible i am feeling now.
:(
<3
