Tuesday, February 3, 2009
i just do not know how things are going.
there are like seriously so so many things that i need to decide on.
should i go for my practical exam which is on any day between july to mid october?
this is the only chance i have left to do my practical before my pieces "expires"
but between july to mid october,
it will be intensive studying and revision
i wont even have the time to practise
and i am afraid that i will fail like how i failed last year
but teacher elaine say that i can make it
just one or two practise a week plus one lesson,
i can pass it with flying colours.
it's the confidence level in me.
i am just afraid of that room,
afraid of that piano
afraid of the melody
afraid of the judges
afraid about the grades
afraid about the preparations.
should i or should i not?
and now, another problem
i need more time with nc7
and i thought that training camp will be a prefect time
but i may not even be able to go
cause the training camp may clash with my theory test on the 14 march
DARN IT!
just hope that it starts on monday 16 march instead.
doyouthinkthatihaveachoiceifihadjustlistentomymumandLiwontbeinthisstatewhereiamcaughtupwithyouandijustdonotknowwhatishoulddo next.apparently,iamnottheonlyone.actionsspeakslouderthanwords.whatyoudidimpactedalotonme.those gross statementsthose gross actswhat do you want me to react like?i just cant accept it. cant i?no matter how many million sentences you are telling me, that one action of yours ruined evrything. i may have mood swings, i know that. i know myself so much better than anyone else. if you are going to trust in others words, and think that i dont treat all my friends seriously, think that i am a two faced monster think that i only knows how to use those methods to get you down, think that i am avoiding the problem. then so be it. i am ok with that. life will just move on as normal with anyone's opinion to this relationship
